Truth v/s Lie

Hey, how do I look today? You look awful and hideous. You should never wear this outfit again. Well, no-one ever says that even if the dress someone is wearing or the way they did their hair does look hideous on them. Our general reply is always “that looks wonderful and you look great.” We are so used to telling such little white lies, they form a significant part of our day but why do we do it? Why can’t we be abrupt and tell someone that they look ugly? According to Phil Janecic of MindofSteel, It’s the fear of not being accepted, it’s the fear of not being included, and it’s the fear of hurting someone that people feel the need to lie and lying doesn’t seem so bad after all under certain circumstances.

Our parents, grandparents, teachers, and elders always taught us not to lie and to be honest with others but as Dr. Kang Lee said during an interview with CBC News Podcast “IDEAS”, parents are the ones who, unconsciously, start teaching us the art of lying from a very young age. “The parents play an important part in a kid’s truth-telling or lying-telling and if you discover your two-year-old is telling a lie, instead of being alarmed, you should celebrate," says Lee. “Kids who lie early, who lie better, are the kids who are going to develop normally," he added.

However, this notion is not supported by all. According to Brad Blanton, author of the book “Radical Honesty: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth,” people have been told to lie from a very young age and more often they are asked to tell a lie than being asked to tell the truth, which is not right and needs to be corrected. Brad Blanton in an interview with CBC News said "I recommend you hurt people's feelings, and I recommend you offend them. And I recommend you stick with them. That way relating to people is much more nourishing than running a protection racket. It's better than being blackmailed by them into protecting their feelings."

While always telling truth and being radically honest seem like an option that would help gain more respect from the peers, it does come with its own limitations and sometimes can land a great deal of trouble. People ask their peers to be always honest with them but what happens when they meet someone who never lies? People tend to despise and cut ties with them. Lacey Rose of Forbes in the article “Lying Is Good For You,” mentioned, the people who are always honest are deemed as to be pathological, blunt, and antisocial. The reason people feel that way is because they neither always like nor always want to hear the truth. According to the article “The Truth about Lying” by University of Rochester Medical Center, not everybody wants to hear that they are looking bad or ugly in a certain dress, however, there are a few things that must be considered before lying such as if telling a lie would cause any harm, if the lie told is out of compassion or cowardice, and if telling the truth would benefit or hurt someone.

We lie several times throughout the day every day and it is not easy to survive without lying. The reason people lie is to please and impress others to gain social acceptance. According to Cassie Shortsleeve of Time, Lying, if mastered and done properly can help in building a network, connecting with people, and starting a business with success. In addition, Theodor Schaarschmidt, in the article “The Art of Lying,” said, it is important that kids learn how to lie from a young age. They need to be taught how to recognize and analyze scenarios where lying would be beneficial and where it might backfire. Kids who learn to lie would develop more normally and be more socially accepted than kids who do not lie as often, Lee added.

Although lying is frowned upon and not wholeheartedly accepted by everybody, it is an important part of our lives. While being radically honest is morally correct, it is not always true for every social setting and there are certain circumstances where lying is more important than telling the truth to either avoid confrontation or protect someone’s feelings.

Bibliography

CBC. (2016, January 13). Born to Lie: Why honesty isn't always the best policy. Podcast. Toronto, Ontario, Canada: IDEAS.

Crow, S. (2018, March 26). This Is Why Lying Is Good for You . Retrieved from BestLife: https://bestlifeonline.com/lying-health-benefits/

Janecic, P. (2019, August 24). How to Lie and Why Lying is Important . Retrieved from MINDOFSTEEL: https://themindofsteel.com/lying/

Rose, L. (2005, October 24). Lying Is Good For You . Retrieved from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/2005/10/19/lying-dishonesty-psychology_cx_lr_comm05_1024lie.html#6d32a37f107c

Schaarschmidt, T. (2018, July 11). The Art of Lying . Retrieved from Scientific American : https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-art-of-lying/

Shortsleeve, C. (2018, October 2). Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy in Relationships. Here's When Experts Say It Might Be Better to Lie . Retrieved from TIME: https://time.com/5406989/when-better-to-lie-than-tell-truth/

Team, R. H. (n.d.). How to get over shit and be happy. Retrieved from Radical Honesty: https://www.radicalhonesty.com

Team, U. (n.d.). The Truth about Lying . Retrieved from University of Rochester Medical Center: https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=528